Today Is My Favorite Day: How Disney Opened My Eyes to Mental Health
When I started this outlet, I knew it would be a great way to express my love of Disney in many different ways. What started as a fun podcast has become an expressive multimedia division in the three years since our inception.
The motivation and overall idea of this post in particular have been living inside my head for quite some time: about three years at this point, to be exact.
For as much as I boast my love of theme parks and thrill rides, I’ve simply never had the confidence to accurately formulate and finalize this entire story. How do those two things relate, you might ask? Well, what you are about to read is quite honestly a real-life roller coaster.
Mental health is a serious issue. It’s all too often overlooked, pushed aside, or straight-up ignored. It’s not fun or easy to discuss, and it’s definitely not something that I typically like to talk about, especially when I try my best to keep Love of the Mouse as positive as possible; but with all of that said, now is as good a time as any to start.
Chapter 1: “Doing nothing often leads to the very best of something”
It all started with Winnie the Pooh. My childhood, my overbearing obsession with Disney, and this story in particular.
In August 2018, Disney’s latest live-action adaptation, Christopher Robin, had just been released in theaters, and I couldn’t wait to see it.
If you’ve listened to our show or read many of my previous posts, you know just how much Winnie the Pooh has meant to me throughout the course of my entire life.
If there was something new in the Winnie the Pooh merchandise realm, I either wanted it or owned it. Even as an adult.
To ramp up marketing for Christopher Robin, Disney released a limited edition line of plush toys featuring the new designs of the iconic Winnie the Pooh characters. Authentic to their likenesses in the new live-action film.
At the time the stuffed animals were exclusively being sold in select retail stores, notably Once Upon a Toy at Disney Springs. I figured there was no chance I could get my hands on one without dropping absurd amounts of money online, being that I had no trips to Orlando on the horizon at the time.
Tori, being the amazing girlfriend that she is, coordinated with Gage, my then podcast co-host, who, at the time, was finishing up his Disney College Program experience at Walt Disney World, to make sure that I got one of the exclusive plushes for my birthday.
…
Flash forward to today, and this is one of the countless reasons her title has since changed from girlfriend to fiancée.
…
On my 24th birthday, she surprised me with the Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal and took me to see the new movie.
So many emotions were running through my head to the point that I thought I was going to cry. And then I did…
Chapter 2: “I don’t feel very much like Pooh today”
The minute the film began I was in tears. And they just wouldn’t stop.
I don’t know if it was the overwhelming joy of seeing the animated opening titles in the classic Winnie the Pooh book style or what, but I’m certain that at that moment I realized my childhood was so far behind me.
…
I was nearly a year into my first true professional design position when Christopher Robin hit theaters.
Each day's work felt like a chore; I absolutely hated it and saw no room for growth with the company.
Now, I know that’s not anything new to many people, but for me, it was detrimental to my mental state. I went into the design field because art has always been my passion. Making a career and living off of something that I love doing is what I’d always dreamed of. When you love what you do, more often than not work doesn’t feel like work.
But in this scenario, the overarching feeling of being stripped of my creativity day after day was taking a major toll on my mind.
There were days where I wanted to quit on the spot just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress that certain people were bringing me. The environment felt toxic, almost like a high school clique, and I simply didn’t fit in.
I couldn’t outright leave without having a fallback in place, and I’ve never been one to quit when I’m discouraged. So I continued to be quietly miserable every day; hiding any sort of emotional discomfort deep inside of me.
…
As the film progressed I noticed more and more parallels to my own life.
I wanted nothing more than to be happy, but I just couldn’t bring myself to it at the time. I had to be an adult, and early on, the struggle of figuring out what adulthood entails was difficult.
I continued to go to work and put on a fake smile every day. I wanted to make sure that no one could see the true feelings that were living in my head.
Chapter 3: “Have you forgotten me?”
Then came the real trigger moment.
Winnie the Pooh tried so hard to connect with Christopher Robin once they were reunited, but Christopher Robin was always focused on what was now his reality: work.
His work had consumed him so much that he was a shell of his former self, and totally blind to what he had become. The creative mind that he had as a child had diminished, and all too easily shut out everything that he truly loved in life.
No scene in any movie had ever hit me so hard and so personally on an emotional level. It was all too relatable to my own situation.
Then it happened again. This time almost uncontrollably. Tori could tell this was not a situation where emotions were flowing from a touching moment in the movie. Something was actually wrong.
She was exactly what I needed at that moment. Her support and love were - and still are - amazing. She encouraged me to find something to take my mind off of the negativity in my life that would truly make me happy.
So I did.
Chapter 4: “I know I don’t need one, but I’d like one very, very much, please”
In March 2018, a few months before the film’s release, Tori and I made our second trip to Walt Disney World together. When we were departing from Florida, I couldn’t fathom the idea of not knowing when I would return to My Happy Place.
It was an emotional time, but it turned out that we would return sooner than we both anticipated.
A few months later while we were recording our Incredibles 2 Review with Gage, he mentioned that he had two free Park Hopper passes that were going to expire the coming weekend that were ours if we wanted them.
The next morning I did some digging, contacted Disney, and booked a stay at Disney’s Art of Animation Resort the following weekend.
Our weekend trip was nothing short of amazing, but when we were leaving Orlando again, that same feeling returned.
…
Christopher Robin had to take Winnie the Pooh back to the Hundred Acre Wood where he belonged, so he’d need to go back to his family cottage to make this happen.
Along the way, Pooh asked for a balloon, knowing he didn’t need it, but that if he obtained the balloon it would make him very happy.
Naturally, Christopher Robin caved and purchased the ballon for his stuffed bear.
…
It was a rash decision, and probably not the most financially sound one at the time, but I knew it would make me happy, and so did Tori.
My simple red balloon was the equivalent of a Walt Disney World Annual Pass.
Chapter 5: “I suppose it’s right where it needs to be”
I was set to travel to Walt Disney World alone the following month to get away from the negativity of work and really clear my head of the demons that seemed to be haunting me. And man did it help!
I came back feeling refreshed. I could sense the creative drive slowly building up to where it needed to be. I went in to work with a more positive attitude, and it showed. My work was finally getting noticed. Something in my head just seemed to click.
…
It was then that Christopher Robin realized he was focusing on the wrong things in life.
Though he never would have realized that had Winnie the Pooh not come stumbling out of the Hundred Acre Wood after all those years. Almost unknowingly bringing joy back into Christopher’s life.
Chapter 6: “Sometimes when I’m going somewhere, I wait, and then somewhere comes to me”
To say that it is difficult to be in one place whilst constantly wishing to be in another is an understatement, but sometimes it is inevitable. Sacrifices always need to be made in life, and sometimes the situations that lead up to them really freaking suck.
On the other hand, though, sometimes patience pays off in the best of ways.
In my case, the best thing that could have happened at work actually happened. The toxic employees began to phase out, and I was bumped into a top-level management role where I began to thrive professionally.
But the deeper I got into management with the company the closer I got to reverting back to the dark place in my mind that I had worked so hard to escape from.
…
Then came the harsh realization for Christopher Robin: He was putting too much into his work and not enjoying life for what it was. With help from his wife, daughter, and friends from the Hundred Acre Wood, he finally took action to take control of his own life.
Chapter 7: “Yesterday, when it was tomorrow, it was too much day for me”
Flash forward to today as I am sitting in my apartment finally garnering enough confidence to put the finishing touches on this story.
I thought that Christopher Robin hit me differently because of the mental dark place I was in, but the more I think about it, the more I realize the overly important, underlying tone that connects with me all these years later.
Having the right people in your life is so important, and I don’t think I put it together at the time. In reality, Tori is my Pooh. She probably won’t take credit for it, but she absolutely put me back on track and helped me realize what is truly important in life and has been there to support me at every level of the journey. I don’t know why or how certain people end up in another’s life, but when you find that person the feeling is nothing short of incredible.
With her help and the support of other people I love, I recently built up the confidence to finally leave the job that caused so much stress and consumed my life for much of the past 4 years.
I found an environment where I truly feel like I am meant to be. The most satisfying part is that I can finally close the book of yesterday and begin the book of today.
As I lie on the couch in anticipation of starting this new job and planning Tori and I’s wedding, I can finally confirm the truth:
For when I'm doing nothing, I'm busy doing something,
Something that suits me to a tee.
